Ready to Find Your Voice? Your 3-Step Roadmap from Surviving to Thriving

Are you exhausted from constantly monitoring others' moods and silencing your own voice, even after achieving professional success?

Many trauma survivors excel in their careers while carrying the invisible weight of unhealed trauma, leaving them stuck in survival mode and unable to speak up with confidence.

In this episode, I share my personal journey with trauma and guide you through three essential steps that can help you shift from surviving to thriving, too.

BY THE TIME YOU FINISH LISTENING, YOU’LL LEARN:

• How to recognize when your nervous system is stuck in "survival mode" and what that means for your relationships and ability to communicate
• The surprising connection between body awareness and authentic self-expression that most trauma survivors miss
• A gentle 30-second daily practice that can help you rebuild trust in yourself and transform how you show up in conversations

Whether you're struggling with self-doubt, people-pleasing, or fear of conflict, you'll discover that healing is possible – and you don't have to do it alone.

When you finish listening, I'd love to hear your biggest takeaway from today’s episode. Take a screenshot of you listening on your device, share it to your Instagram stories, and tag me, @dranniecampanile!

While you’re there, make sure you follow me on Instagram so you can see behind the scenes how I help trauma survivors heal and thrive and discover how you can, too.

Transcript

[00:00:00] Are you tired of lying awake at night with a knot in your stomach, replaying conversations and wishing you had spoken up? I'm Dr. Annie Campanile, trauma survivor and professional coach. In this first episode of Heal Your Trauma, Find Your Voice, I'm sharing the three essential steps that will help you shift from surviving to thriving, so you can express yourself with confidence and build relationships that truly fulfill you.

That's all coming up next, right here on Heal Your Trauma, Find Your Voice. Welcome to Heal Your Trauma, Find Your Voice, the podcast for trauma survivors ready to break free from people pleasing and self doubt. I'm Dr. Annie Campanile, here to help you trust your intuition, communicate clearly, and build relationships that fulfill you.

Each week, you'll learn practical tips to heal past wounds and turn surviving into thriving. Welcome back. Today we're talking about the struggle to speak up with confidence, when we're afraid of how others [00:01:00] will react. Like you, I know what it's like to work really hard while carrying the invisible weight of unhealed trauma.

For years, I pushed myself to excel, hoping that professional achievement would finally help me communicate with the confidence and clarity that would inspire others to really listen to me. But no matter how many accomplishments I added to my resume, I still found myself holding back when I had something to say.

I remember sitting in my car after a particularly difficult work meeting, fighting back tears and angrily wondering why I couldn't just speak up like everyone else seemed to do so easily. Back then, I had no idea that my constant self doubt and fear of conflict were actually connected to past trauma. I just knew that no matter how hard I worked or how much I achieved, I still felt this deep need to monitor everyone else's moods and make sure that I wasn't a problem.

Which brings me to what we're talking about today, [00:02:00] how to stop silencing ourselves and living in survival so we can find our voice and start thriving. Let me share a story about my client, let's call her Ashley, that illustrates how we can begin this journey toward thriving. Ashley came into my office one morning looking worn out.

Though she was trying hard not to show it. Like many trauma survivors, Ashley had mastered appearing fine on the outside. She did this by wearing fashionable clothes, expertly applying her makeup, and showing an ever present smile. On this day, Ashley sat down on the edge of her seat wearing a beautiful new suit, triple shot latte in hand, with her eyes wide open and her right leg bouncing with nervous energy.

She might have fooled others into thinking she was energetic and ready for anything, but I noticed that her shoulders were slumped, and there were dark circles under her eyes. How are you today? I asked. Ashley smiled brightly and said, Great! I've been getting so much done, and my [00:03:00] boss is really happy with my work.

But I have three big new goals for the month, and I really need your help to build a better action plan so I can get it all done on time. I was surprised to hear that Ashley felt great. Because I could see those dark circles under her eyes, and her slumped shoulders suggested that she would rather be in bed than in my office.

I didn't think that a better action plan was what she really needed, so I guided her through a simple exercise to help her slow down and notice what her body might tell her. Before we talk about your action plan, I said, let's pause for a minute. See if you can get a little more comfortable in your chair.

Set down your latte for just a moment. And now, close your eyes or look down, take a deep breath, and allow yourself to just be in this room with me right now. Ashley sat back in her chair, uncrossed her legs, and placed the latte on the table next to her. After she had quietly taken three full breaths, Ashley's eyes welled [00:04:00] up with tears and she released a heavy sigh.

She slowly looked at me and said, I don't think I can handle adding even one more thing to my list. But I could never tell my boss that. Still, I said, I am utterly exhausted. This moment with Ashley illustrates the first essential step in moving from surviving to thriving. Learning to notice what our bodies are telling us.

Like many trauma survivors, Ashley had become so focused on doing more and being more, that she had lost connection with her own internal signals. When traumatic events aren't fully healed, our nervous system learns to stay in survival mode to protect us. Constantly alert for danger, like a smoke alarm that keeps ringing even when there's no fire.

Keeping us stuck, feeling tense, jumpy, and always bracing for the next bad thing, rather than relaxing and resting, especially when we're tired. [00:05:00] We all have these internal signals, like our energy level, tight or loose muscles, and painful or pleasurable emotions. Our internal signals are active all the time, but we might have forgotten how to notice them.

Or we might ignore them because we just don't know how to respond to them. This brings us to my second essential step in moving from surviving to thriving. Understanding that authentic connection with others starts with being present with ourselves. When we are constantly pushing through exhaustion or telling ourselves we're fine when we're not, we create a pattern of disconnection that affects all of our relationships.

For Ashley, simply taking those three full breaths and allowing herself to pause, connect to her body, and actually feel her emotions instead of ignoring or pushing her emotions away was the beginning of profound change. It might seem too simple, but real healing often is simple. This is how we start to reconnect with ourselves [00:06:00] and rebuild the trust that is essential for transformation.

The third essential step in moving from surviving to thriving is what I call compassionate truth telling. This isn't about forcing ourselves to speak up before we're ready. Instead, it starts with telling small truths to ourselves, like Ashley acknowledging her exhaustion. I'd like to offer you a gentle practice to try this week.

One time each day, take just 30 seconds to pause. Close your eyes or look down, whichever is more comfortable for you, and notice what's going on in your body. You might notice warmth or coolness, tension in your shoulders, tightness in your chest, or maybe a sensation of heaviness or lightness. There's no need to change anything.

Just notice what's there and then log it in your journal or notebook so you can begin to see the patterns between what you feel in your body and what's happening in your life. Just [00:07:00] like learning a new language, recognizing and understanding your body's signals will become easier with practice. I know this might feel a bit strange at first.

If you're not used to checking in with your body, you might feel uncertain about what you're supposed to notice or you might even feel a little self conscious. That's perfectly natural. Some of my coaching clients have said they felt silly at first when taking time to just notice their body sensations.

Others have discovered something wonderful. Like realizing for the first time how refreshed they feel after a good night's sleep. Or noticing that their shoulders actually relax when they talk to a trusted friend. Remember, this isn't about doing it right or finding any particular feeling. It's simply about taking small steps to rebuild the natural connection between your mind and your body.

A connection that may have become fuzzy or distant over time. Each time you pause to notice what you're feeling, even if just for a moment, You are strengthening this vital bridge between [00:08:00] your mind and your body. This gentle awareness is often the first step toward helping your nervous system move out of survival mode.

You can always open your eyes, look around the room, or focus on something else if the exercise becomes uncomfortable. Thanks so much for joining me today for the very first episode of Heal Your Trauma, Find Your Voice. If you enjoyed today's episode, please share it with a friend or leave a review. That will really help other people find the show.

Next week, I'll answer the question so many of us secretly wonder about. How do I know if I'm a trauma survivor? Until then, I'm Dr. Annie Campanile, reminding you that healing is possible and you don't have to do it alone. See you next week.