Q+A | How to Stop Fear-Based Decisions: 3 Steps to Clarity & Confidence

Ever find yourself making snap decisions under pressure, only to regret them later? What if the very speed you pride yourself on is actually sabotaging your success—damaging trust, creating costly mistakes, and leaving you burned out and anxious?

In this episode, I share a simple yet life-changing practice to help you break the cycle of fear-based decision-making and start choosing with confidence, clarity, and ease.

You'll Discover:

✅ The hidden ways trauma hijacks your decision-making (and why even a casual comment can trigger panic).
 ✅ How to recognize your body's unique "fear signature" before it leads you astray.
 ✅ The simple 3-step "Body-Heart-Mind Check" that transforms reactive choices into confident decisions.
 ✅ Why saying “I need to think about this” actually increases trust rather than damaging it.

Real-Life Transformation:

Meet Evelyn, a healthcare director whose fear-based management style was ruining her credibility—until she learned how to pause before acting. Instead of rushing into snap decisions that backfired, she used the Body-Heart-Mind Check to rebuild trust with her team and strengthen her leadership skills.

Are Fear-Based Decisions Running Your Life?

⚡ Do you feel an intense urgency to “fix” things immediately?
 ⚡ Does your heart race when someone asks for a decision on the spot?
 ⚡ Are you second-guessing choices and feeling exhausted by the pressure?

If so, this episode is for you. Learn how to shift from panic mode to genuine confidence—even in high-pressure situations.

00:00 Introduction: The Pressure of Quick Decisions

00:31 Understanding Fear-Driven Decisions

03:26 Real-Life Example: Evelyn's Story

06:25 Recognizing Fear vs. Confidence in Decision Making

08:39 The Body-Heart-Mind Check Technique

11:01 Practical Application and Conclusion

Other Episodes You'll Enjoy:

• Pause Before You Please: How to Say Yes on Your Terms

Transcript

[00:00:00] You feel the pressure. You make snap decisions, you solve problems quickly. But what if the very speed you pride yourself on is actually sabotaging your success, damaging trust, creating costly mistakes, and leaving you burned out and anxious? That's exactly what we're tackling today on Heal Your Trauma Find Your Voice. 

I'm sharing the simple three-step technique that has helped my clients break the cycle of fear-driven decisions and start making choices from a place of genuine confidence instead of panic. I'm Dr. Annie Campanile, trauma survivor and professional coach, and even if you've always been the quick responder or you think your industry demands instant action, shifting from fear to confidence when making your decisions can boost your career and your wellbeing.  [00:01:00] 

Welcome back to episode 11. Today we're diving into something that affects every aspect of our lives - how we make decisions. Whether it's deciding to speak up in a meeting, say Yes or No to our children, or addressing a conflict in a relationship, the way we approach decisions can either leave us feeling empowered and connected, or overwhelmed and isolated.

Look, we're living in wild times - endless notifications, and always on work culture, and the constant pressure to respond immediately to everything. Our nervous systems weren't designed for this level of constant stimulation, and it's no wonder so many of us feel like we're constantly fighting fires rather than thoughtfully navigating our lives.

This struggle is something I definitely know Personally. I [00:02:00] started this podcast while working as an executive coach for a large health system and also serving private coaching clients. I care deeply about helping people recognize and resolve the way trauma affects their day-to-day lives, and I love my work, but I can become perfectionistic and unwilling to take breaks, even when my body is telling me, “Hey, you need to stand up and move.” Or my husband says, “Hey, it's time for lunch. Let's take a break.” 

This fear of missing deadlines or making a mistake causes me to lose sleep and cancel activities that really matter to me. Before I know it, I'm feeling overwhelmed by the very work I love to do. 

The tendency to act out of fear is really common for those of us who've experienced trauma, including my listener who sent me this message, she said, “Dr. Annie, how do I stop making decisions out of fear? I'm a small business owner. I need to make quick decisions, but my staff feel that I sometimes rush important changes without including them. [00:03:00] 

In the moment, my decisions feel urgent and necessary, but my staff are unhappy and I'm starting to hate my work because I feel anxious all the time.” Can you relate to her? ‘cause I definitely can.

This question of How do I stop making decisions out of fear? captures something I see very often in my coaching practice: how our survival brain can hijack our decision-making process, especially when we're under pressure. Let me illustrate this with a story of my client, who let's call Evelyn. Evelyn had spent 15 years building her career as a nurse and a manager in a hospital.

She had a stellar reputation for being responsive to people's needs and open to change, which led to her promotion to a director role. In this new position, She was responsible for improving patient satisfaction across a group of clinics and a few months into her new role, Evelyn was surprised and hurt to learn that she was developing a reputation for making rash decisions and not including others in the [00:04:00] process.

This feedback was especially painful because Evelyn deeply cared about people. It was the reason she had gone into healthcare in the first place. Plus she genuinely wanted to keep this job that she had worked so hard to earn. 

In one of our coaching sessions, Evelyn described a situation that had damaged her credibility. Her organization's Chief Medical Officer had casually mentioned during a meeting that patient check-in times seemed slow at one of her clinics. 

Evelyn immediately felt her heart race. Her mind filled with thoughts like, “I need to fix this right away,” and, “If I don't solve this problem immediately, they'll regret promoting me.”

Within 24 hours, Evelyn had completely redesigned the check-in process, reassigned staff responsibilities, and implemented the change - all without consulting the clinic manager or the staff who worked there every day. She thought she was doing the right thing, being responsive, and taking care of it so that other [00:05:00] people wouldn't be burdened by the decisions and by the changes.

But unfortunately, two weeks later, this new process she had put into place was falling apart. Staff were frustrated, patients were confused, and the clinic manager felt disrespected. 

Evelyn told me when she tried explaining that she was just responding to the chief medical officer's concern, he looked confused and said he had simply been making an observation, not suggesting an urgent overhaul.

In the heat of the moment, Evelyn couldn't distinguish between a true emergency requiring immediate action and a situation that required thoughtful consideration.

What happened to Evelyn happens to so many of us. Her nervous system interpreted a casual comment as a threat to her status and security, triggering her survival response. 

This plays out in everyday situations, too. Have you ever had a stressful day and found yourself scrolling mindlessly through online shopping sites? I know I have. 

There's something about [00:06:00] anxiety that can make clicking add to cart feel so satisfying in the moment, and then a week later you're surprised by all these packages arriving at your door, and suddenly you're spending your weekend making returns and wondering, “Why did I do that?”

That momentary relief of anxious online shopping is actually your nervous system looking for a quick way to feel better, even though the long-term result creates more stress.   

So how do we start to recognize the difference between fear-driven decisions and confidence driven decisions?

It begins with understanding what each one feels like in your body. Because remember, the body responds to everything we think about as if it's happening for real. 

I’d like to invite you to take a moment and think about a time when you made a decision out of fear. Maybe you were worried about disappointing someone, or afraid of missing an important deadline, or concerned about how others might be judging you.

As you recall that [00:07:00] moment, notice what happens in your body. Does your breathing change? Did you notice your shoulders getting tense or your back? Does your stomach start to feel a little sick? Whatever your body's response is, you can think of that as your personal signature of fear-driven decision making.

The more familiar you become with the way your body responds to fear, the easier it will be to recognize when fear is starting to influence your choices.

Now let's look at the other side. Take a moment and think of a time when you made a decision from a sense of confidence, when you felt sure about your choice.  

It could be something simple, like going to a restaurant and deciding really clearly what you wanted and what you didn't want.

As you recall that moment when you made your decision out of confidence, how does your body respond to that memory? Does your breathing slow down or deepen? Do you notice your shoulders or your back [00:08:00] relaxing a little bit? Does your mind feel a little bit calmer or clearer?

Again, however your body responds to this memory of making a decision with confidence, you can think of this as your personal signature of confidence driven decision making. 

The more familiar you become with how confidence feels in your body, the easier it will be to trust yourself when you're facing important decisions.

For my client, Evelyn, learning to recognize these differences between fear-driven decision-making and confidence driven decision-making was truly transformative. 

She followed a simple practice I call the “Body-Heart-Mind Check.” That helped her pause before making significant decisions, especially when she felt that familiar rush of panicked urgency. 

Here's how the “Body-Heart-Mind Check” works:

First, check in with your body. Give all [00:09:00] of your attention to noticing any physical sensations that you're experiencing in that moment. It could be tension in certain muscles, shallow or fast breathing, or erasing heart. Then take three full breaths and feel your feet on the floor, and then notice if anything shifts.

Very often, you'll notice that the tense energy and the anxiousness will calm down even just a little bit. 

Second, check in with your heart. Notice what emotions you're feeling in that moment.

Fear isn't always a sign to stop, but it is important to recognize when it's driving your decisions and give yourself some time, even just 30 seconds to calm it down. 

And third, check in with your mind.Notice what thoughts are running through your head. Are you considering multiple different options to this decision, or do you feel fixated on one [00:10:00] urgent solution? 

Evelyn told me that when she was practicing this “Body-Heart-Mind Check,” what really helped her to create the space for that was that she gave herself permission to say, “I need to think about this and get back to you,” which is the power pause we learned in episode five. 

One day Evelyn shared a breakthrough moment with me: The chief medical officer had once again mentioned some concerns during a meeting. But this time, instead of rushing into action, Evelyn said she noticed her racing heart and thought, “Ah, my body's reacting. This feels urgent, but I don't need to solve it alone, and I don't need to solve it right now.”

She took three deep breaths, felt her feet on the floor, and then said, “That's an important observation. I'd like to gather more information from the staff and come back with some recommendations next week. Would that work for you?” 

Evelyn left that meeting feeling grounded and respected, [00:11:00] rather than panicked. 

I want to invite you to experiment with your own version of the “Body-Heart-Mind Check” this week. The next time you feel a sense of urgency and panic around a decision, pause and try these three steps. 

First connect with your body. You can ask yourself, “What physical sensations am I experiencing right now?” 

And then take three deep breaths and feel your feet on the floor. Next, connect with your heart. You can ask yourself, “What emotions am I feeling?” 

You might not even know in that moment, because we can become very disconnected from our emotions when life gets really busy. 

So even just asking yourself that question, “What emotions am I feeling?” can be super calming. 

And then finally, connect with your mind. You can ask yourself, “What thoughts are running through my head? Are they focused on the situation or on my fears?”  

After taking two or [00:12:00] three minutes to do this “Body-Heart-Mind Check,” you might find that what felt like a five alarm fire was actually a situation that would benefit from thoughtful consideration, and it's okay for you to take that time.

Remember, this isn't about never acting quickly. Some situations truly will require our immediate action. But many situations will benefit from us taking the time to give ourselves permission to see clearly and gather information and calm our bodies before we decide. 

Thanks so much for joining me today on Heal Your Trauma Find Your Voice. If you found this episode helpful, send me a DM on Instagram and let me know what you found out when you did your Body-Heart-Mind Check.

And if you'd like some extra support, you can download my free guide on anniecampanile.com. 

Next week I'll be sharing a quick but powerful tip about how to give difficult feedback in a way that strengthens relationships, rather than damaging them, because everyone deserves real honest [00:13:00] feedback and it can bring you closer when it's done right.

Until then, I'm Dr. Annie Campanile reminding you that healing is possible and you don't have to do it alone. See you next week.